we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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