you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
