Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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