Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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