i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There r osticjed everywhere
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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