wanna go halves on a baby?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
