so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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