Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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