let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
