absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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