So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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