No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
