Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
