she was so not down for the gang bang
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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