Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
