my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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