remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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