just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
