I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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