Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
