i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
