last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
