problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
