69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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