Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize