Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize