the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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