Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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