So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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