so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
it was like eating out sand paper
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
