We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
