"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
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