Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
