my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize