How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
