I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
