So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
love makes seman taste better
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
