I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
