I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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