I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
