Don't make out with my wife yet
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
