we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
