i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
