It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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