I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
