STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
barbara walters just said penis...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
