I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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