I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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