the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
