I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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