Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize