so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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