for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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