Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
