love makes seman taste better
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
