One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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