Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
