You work out of a Hotel?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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