escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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