Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
