dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
